Sad story of a man trying to live with out texus


New member
I must ask... Did you ever get unbanned?
no because they said i have not learned my lesson even tho i am 100% they got the wrong id/ name, if you could send these to your higher ups so i can talk with them you would be in my debt.

Alexander W.

Active member
Smurfs: The Lost Village Script

This story begins
in a secret place
hidden deep in a forest.
Whoa, whoa!
That is a smurf.
We call him clumsy.
And this is our village,
where there's a smurf
for just about everything.
Like jokey.
Hey, here's a present for you.
Oh, gullible smurf,
you're so gullible.
Actually, I meant
to give you this one.
Wow! Thanks!
- 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
- Here's hefty.
And over here is...
Now, for the
one-fingered pushup.
One, two, three...
Meet nerdy smurf.
Excuse me?
Sorry, brainy. Just kidding.
Hmm. Well, what's
going on over there?
Paranoid smurf.
Karate smurf.
Handy. Vanity.
Farmer. Painter. Baker.
Magician. Scuba.
Policeman. Therapist.
Sometimes I just feel blue.
There's even
table-eating smurf.
Oh, hi.
Yeah, we're not too
sure about him, either.
And then there's me, papa smurf.
I sort of run this place.
But this isn't a story about me.
Or clumsy.
Or any of them.
It's about the only girl
in our village.
Hi, laundry smurf.
Howdy-do, Smurfette.
Hey, guys.
But that's not the only thing
that's different
about Smurfette.
She was created
by the evil wizard, Gargamel.
Using dark magic...
he made her from a lump of Clay.
Now, go and find smurf village.
Luckily, I knew
a little magic of my own.
But there was still one problem.
Smurfette's name doesn't
tell us anything about her.
Okay, the physics are...
It doesn't tell us who she is.
High heels.
Or what she does.
So, what exactly is a Smurfette?
Well, let me be frank.
She's a rubbish Baker.
Let's see. Smurfette.
Smurfette, Smurfette, Smurfette.
Huh. It's not here.
Well, Smurfette is a combination
of a smurf and an ette.
But what's an ette?
Oh, uh, yeah.
Smurfette, well, she's...
She's the greatest.
The most wondrous
creature on earth.
Yes, you are.
Oh! I got it.
This is one of
those eternal questions
that we'll never,
ever know the answer to.
Huh? Wait, she is?
Do you think she heard me?
So, what is a Smurfette?
No one wanted that answer
more than Smurfette herself.
What are you doing?
Hey, grouchy, I was just...
This is my bench.
I come here same time
every day, and I...
Ooh. Let me guess.
"And grouch."
I can do that.
I can grouch.
Hi, grouchy. Hi, Smurfette.
Nice day, huh?
No, it's not.
It's gonna rain!
Which actually helps
the plants grow.
But also means it's gonna be
cloudy, so, chew on that.
Then again, there
might be a rainbow.
But rainbows are dumb.
Just kidding.
I love rainbows.
You're not very good
at this, are ya?
Uh, no, I'm not.
In fact, you're actually
kind of bad at it.
But you're also bad at it.
That's a lie.
You're really,
really good at it.
Hi, brainy.
Ah. Smurfette.
Thank goodness you're here.
I was... whoa!
Whoa. We're running trials
on my new invention.
The Smurfy thing finder.
Test subject, hefty smurf.
Oh, hey, Smurfette!
I mean, uh...
Hey, Smurfette.
Oh, hey.
That thing's safe, right?
- Is it safe?
- Of course.
I'd get back here if I were you.
Snappy bug.
Take this down. Smurfy
thing finder trial 1.03.
Ready, hefty?
Roger that.
It works!
Wow. This thing
really gets me.
It's able to hone in on
hefty's dominant trait.
Super strength.
Which I distill into this.
I call it brainy's
super Smurfy power fuel.
Here, you can try it first.
All clear!
Yeah, you see, when you say
things like "all clear,"
it makes me not want to...
Hey, guys.
Hi, clumsy.
You're just in time
to witness scientific history.
Oh. What's going on
in here?
None of your business, nosey.
Hmm. Well, all right.
Hey! If that vegetable hat can
tell us that hefty is strong,
maybe it can tell me
what an ette is.
Power it up, brainy.
What happened?
Somehow, instead of sending
energy out, you absorbed it.
Probably something
to do with the fact
that you're not a real...
A real smurf? Go
ahead, you can say it.
No, no, I just meant that
this machine wasn't built for a
smurf of your, well, origins.
Yeah, it's okay. I get it.
Hey, you know what? Let's
all go have some fun.
- Pizza!
- Smurfboarding!
It's almost ready, Azrael.
A pinch of newt poo.
A gram of calcified fungus from
between the toes of a yak.
And a piece of cheese I left
in my underpants last week.
That ought to do it.
Twelve spherical
petrification modules.
Or, as I like to
call 'em, freeze balls.
You're welcome, Azrael.
Dinner is served.
Besides, these freeze balls
aren't for catching mice.
They're for capturing
those elusive smurfs.
My holy grail.
The gold at the end
of my rainbow.
The most potent magical
ingredient in the world.
Next slide.
Imagine the power in
100 of them combined.
How I've searched high and low,
under every rock, it seems,
with no sign of them anywhere.
Not now, Azrael. I'm in
the middle of a lecture.
My plan is simple.
Find smurf village, capture all the
smurfs, drain them of their magic
and, finally,
use that magic to become
the most powerful
wizard in the world!
Oh, look at me with hair.
Why didn't you say
so in the first place?
Blue blazes!
I've spotted smurfs
in the forest!
Well, it's
my telescope. Monty!
Come, my majestic eagle.
Your talons are digging
into my shoulders. Ow!
Oh, that's better.
Now, fly.
Go capture me some smurfs.
No, no!
No, you're going the wrong way!
Ooh! Whoo!
Whoa! Huh!
Hyah! Yeah!
Ooh! Whoa.
Oh, no.
My turn!
Safety third.
Oh, boy.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa! Yeah!
Really takes your
breath away, doesn't she?
This is incredible!
Whoa. Oh... uh-oh.
Huh? Oh, no!
She's getting way too close
to the forbidden forest.
She can't go over that wall.
Come on.
Whoa! Oh!
No, no, no, wait.
Don't go.
Wait. Wait, who are you?
Don't be afraid.
Hey, you can't go in there.
- Smurfette!
- Smurfette!
Smurfette, you okay?
What happened?
What happened?
I saw a smurf.
Who was it?
I don't know,
but he was wearing this.
Smurfette! Code blue!
Guys, come on.
We've gotta get her.
I have a bad feeling about this.
Oh, do you?
Does it have to do
with the giant vulture
carrying our friend off
to Gargamel's lair?
Monty, my regal raptor.
You've done it,
you've caught a smurf.
Give me a kiss.
Finally, you bring me
what I've been asking for.
A tiny, blue-skinned,
shirtless... you!
Let me out of here, you
smurf-obsessed wannabe wizard.
Oh, is that any way
to talk to the man
who brought you into this world?
I'd prefer it if you
just called me "papa."
I would never call you that.
Your loss.
What's this?
What are you hiding?
Hand it over,
you pseudo-smurf.
Thank you, Azrael.
What do we have here? Hmm...
A different design? Yes, of course,
I noticed that right away.
Slightly before
you did, in fact.
Where did you get it?
I'm not telling you anything.
Tell me.
Tell me!
You better tell me.
Fine. Don't tell me. I won't.
Stupid reverse
psychology never works.
Who cares? You've already
given me what I need.
Come along, Azrael.
Ah, where on earth
did I put those ingredients?
Oh, I know this.
Go left, then right,
back handspring,
stick the landing.
Is it a person, book or movie?
No one ever understands
your hand signals, hefty.
Ah, never mind. Just
follow me and stay close.
Wart of worm and hair of cat.
Show me the home
of this smurf hat.
Long have you searched
for these creatures of blue.
But this hat comes
from somewhere new.
Yes. Where? Where
does it come from?
A village of smurfs,
where enchantment grows.
Oh. An entire village.
Good. Go on. Go on.
The location of which...
Nobody knows.
No! Just start with that.
Start with "I don't know."
Lousy cheap-o cauldron.
But here is a clue.
But what is it?
Must be a symbol for
something, or a code.
Trees, trees, breeze, knees.
Babies crawl on their knees.
Check all the nurseries
in the area!
We're going to need to
disguise ourselves as babies.
Now, where can I
get a giant diaper?
Azrael, it's not your map.
You want your own map, we'll get you
your own map, but this is my...
Wait a minute.
Look what I found.
Three tall trees,
in the forbidden forest.
We've never
searched there before.
I'm a genius.
Azrael, it's time
to take a road trip.
Prepare my trail mix.
Oh, Smurfette, congratulations.
You've just led me
to an undiscovered
population of smurfs.
They have no idea we even exist.
I'll be like...
They'll be all like,
"oh, no!"
And I'll be like...
- And they'll be like...
- "Run! No!
"Run, run, run!"
You evil little genius.
The rotten apple
doesn't fall too far
from the tree after all.
Does it?
Get your fur and
feathers in gear, boys.
We leave at first light.
Right after breakfast, say 8:00, 8:30.
9:00 at the latest.
Wait, brainy, the map.
I'm on it.
Fine, maybe 9:30. Absolutely
no later than 10:00, though.
What the...
It's a jailbreak!
Go, go, go!
They know my plans.
They'll ruin everything!
Is this safe?
Well, it's a giant crossbow,
so I'm gonna go with "no."
Don't let them escape.
Where are the seat belts?
Get them!
Get those smurfs!
Fire in the hole!
Get those smurfs!
Azrael's gaining on us.
Incoming bird!
This might hurt.
Come on. Smurf this way.
Run faster! Run faster!
Why are our legs so short?
Why are our feet so big?
Why are my muscles so big?
Really, man?
Guys! Guys!
A little help here.
It's coming.
All right!
Well, I know four smurfs
who have some explaining to do.
Oh, boy.
Oh, my gosh. Papa,
you will not believe it.
We ran into
the forbidden forest.
One at a time.
One at a time.
Please. Please.
Smurfette sees
this mystery smurf.
We have to go to
the forbidden forest.
I've told you time and again,
the forbidden forest
is forbidden.
And now you're
talking about maps
and mystery smurfs
and Gargamel's lair.
None of this makes any sense,
and I really don't understand
why you can't follow
simple rules.
You snuck out and it
put you all in danger.
Seems to me the only way
I can keep you safe is if...
You're grounded.
Grounded? No, not grounded!
What? No way!
But, papa, but...
Come on!
No "buts."
None of you are to take one
step out of your mushrooms
without telling me where you're going.
Do you understand that?
You're right, papa.
Huh? What?
You're right.
I don't know what
we were thinking.
Uh, good.
Because, as I was saying,
you behaved completely
Yes. Right. Exactly.
I couldn't agree more.
Right, guys?
Uh... yeah, right.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
What are you talking
about, Smurfette? Okay.
Yes, so...
And furthermore...
In fact, I think we should all
go to our rooms right now
and think about what we've done.
Well, I think that's...
Tough, but fair.
Come on, guys.
Okay, okay.
Okay, I'm moving.
What's your endgame here?
Did you get pecked
on the noggin, Smurfette?
Actually, Smurfette...
Don't worry, papa.
We are certainly going to do
some thinking about what we did.
And so forth.
But we will definitely
not be leaving our rooms
until we've thought
this whole thing out.
And then, just for good measure,
we'll think about it some more.
Yes, but...
Great talk, papa.
I have no idea what I'm doing.
Hefty, I know that's you.
'Sup, Smurfette?
How did you do that?
And, I assume, clumsy.
All good. What are you
guys doing out here?
We knew you were up
to something.
This is all my fault, hefty.
But, Smurfette,
the forbidden forest?
It's too dangerous.
I have to at least
warn that lost village.
Well, we're team smurf,
and we stick together.
So, we're coming with you.
I can't ask you to do that.
You didn't ask.
We volunteered.
Thanks, guys.
First things first.
Wow! Bug technology.
According to my map,
we should be standing
right in front of this
very large, tall stone wall.
One small step for
four small smurfs...
Let us proceed.
Wow, wow, wow.
Wow, wow, wow.
You okay, Smurfette?
Nice flowers. Nice flowers.
Not nice flowers!
Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Where's clumsy?
Hey! We just met! I'm
not that kind of smurf.
Watch out for
the steep embankment.
Clumsy, you okay?
I'm seeing stars.
Good work, clumsy.
You may have discovered a new
subspecies of flying Insectoid.
Amazing! A winged,
fire-breathing Anisoptera.
Mmm, let's see. How
should we classify this?
Hmm, maybe.
I mean, seems like an easy
choice, but I'm just not sure.
Yeah, okay, let's go
with "dragonfly."
Hopefully more
"fly" than "dragon."
Nope! Less "fly"!
Less "fly"!
Whoa, guys!
I'm okay.
A little help here.
Monty, get off of me.
I hate nature.
How gaudy.
Hmm? Ow, ow!
Azrael, do something!
It's quite painful.
Stop laughing.
This is not funny.
Watch it!
Let me go!
Hmm. These nests are
made of some material
I've never seen before.
You know,
I think I've had enough
of these flying
antipastos for one day.
What are you doing here?
Well, I was thinking of getting
a little place out here.
Just a quiet place
in the forest.
It's a little breezy
up on the hill.
What do you think
I'm doing out here?
You are never going to find
that village, Gargamel.
Oh, Smurfette,
if it wasn't for you,
I wouldn't even know
about those other smurfs.
Get 'em, boys.
Smurfintine formation! Go!
Get 'em, Azrael!
Hey, you.
You're the clumsy one, right?
Think fast.
I caught it!
This isn't good.
Clumsy, give 'em back their egg!
Oh, come on!
I'm trying!
I'm really, really sorry, guys!
Over there!
I didn't mean to poach your egg.
Well, they're toast.
Ah, it doesn't matter.
What's a few worthless pennies
when there's a pot of gold
at the end of my rainbow?
Trust me, they're goners.
I'm telling you, they've
been fried to a blue crisp.
They're smurf kabobs.
Smurfberry flambe.
Can it, fuzzball.
They're dead.
Dead, I say!
I don't do well in the darkness.
I have enough trouble
in the daylight.
Hold on, everyone. We need
to find a way out of here.
That is good thinking,
- Guys?
- Darkness!
Don't be scared. Just...
Just think happy thoughts.
It's not really
happy times right now!
Just stay in the light, clumsy.
Too late.
I'm walking into the darkness!
What are you... why?
I'm really
freaking out, you guys!
Stop, everyone.
Okay, go into your backpacks,
get out your emergency
tunnel survival kit,
find the small glass
vial marked "light,"
and shake it really hard.
Clumsy? How you doing?
Okay, I guess.
Just hang tight, clumsy.
I'm not sure how
long this will take
or how long we'll be down here,
so, everybody, whatever you do,
don't eat all your rations.
I just ate all my rations!
I'm stress-eating!
I'm coming, clumsy.
Follow the sound of my voice.
Wait! These tunnels
are like a maze.
We'll just get more lost.
We gotta do something.
I'm with her.
Time for some action.
We're doing this all wrong.
- I'm close, clumsy.
- Almost there.
That's just the echo
playing tricks on us.
I'm here.
I'm here right
around this corner.
Hey, everybody?
My light is going out.
That is it! I'm punching
us out of here.
It's collapsing.
Hefty! Put those fists away
before you get us killed!
At least I'm trying something.
I'm gonna blow us out of here!
Oh, yeah!
Too late!
Hey, Smurfette.
Hang on.
I'm coming, clumsy bro.
I got you, little buddy.
Yeah! Yee-haw!
I think my rations
are coming up.
Oh! Whoa, whoa.
What's so funny?
Now, that's what I call
"talking out of your butt."
Oh, boys.
Would anyone be
interested in knowing
that we're in sight
of three tall trees?
- All right.
- Yeah, we are.
And Bucky is gonna
get us there extra fast.
Bucky? Seems like a Bucky to me.
Hit it, Bucky!
Before you say anything,
just listen.
Now, I know yesterday
I might have been
a bit tough on you and the boys,
and I know there are times
I'm a little overprotective.
Okay, a lot overprotective.
But you have to understand,
you snuck out.
You have to be more careful.
Smurfette, I know
lately you may not realize,
and I may not say it enough,
but you are...
You shine.
So, anyway, we're Smurfy?
I think you and the boys have
been grounded long enough.
Okay. I'm opening the door.
And I'm walking in to talk more.
You there?
Clumsy! Oh, that's
not even convincing.
When I find those smurfs,
I will ground them
for a month of blue moons.
Oh, what's going on in here?
Hmm. Well, all right.
Wow. Have you ever seen
something so beautiful?
Every day, Smurfette.
Every day.
- Don't be weird.
- You don't be weird.
We can camp here for the night.
I'll start us a fire.
Uh, fetch me some firewood,
would you, hefty?
Um, a "please" would be nice.
Yes, it would, but I haven't
earned my manners badge,
so get me some firewood.
Clumsy? You okay?
Yeah, sure. It's been fun.
Well, not tons of fun,
but it's had its moments.
Kind of.
You know what I'm trying to say.
It hasn't been that much fun.
Well done, hefty.
Well done.
All right, step one,
the wood should be stacked
into a tepee-like structure.
Step two, I tap this
flint with a rock and...
You're not even blowing on it.
You're spitting on it.
Hmm. That's odd.
Perhaps the wood you
collected was damp, hefty.
According to my manual,
it should spark right up.
Hey, I've got an idea.
No, no, no. No, no! No! No, no, no.
No, no, no!
Oh, oh, oh... You know,
you're right, brain man.
Your little book
does come in handy.
Shame. Shame on you. We'd
be lost without this book.
My name is brainy.
I'm super smart.
I'm the smart smurf.
But I can't start a fire.
Okay, the damage is minimal.
The binding's still intact.
It smells good.
Just think, guys.
After all this time,
while we've been going about
our Smurfy business back home,
there's been other smurfs
out there, just like us.
Or they could be
nothing like us.
He's right. We should be
prepared for whatever we find.
Those other smurfs
might not even be blue.
Maybe they'll be orange.
Ah. I like orange.
What if they all wear glasses?
Or have big, bushy mustaches.
What if they have scaly
skin and sharp teeth?
And giant claws.
And big, beady eyes.
What if they have hands?
Good one, bro.
Listen, it doesn't matter
what they look like.
We still have to warn them.
Gargamel's wrong about me.
It's not my purpose to help him.
I'm meant to save those smurfs.
And we're gonna help you.
We're team smurf, and
we're in this together.
And by "together,"
I mean me and you.
And those guys.
But mostly me and you.
Okay, everyone.
Smurfy selfie time.
Say, "blue cheese."
Blue cheese!
According to the map,
we should be
arriving at a river.
It's like a workout
for my eyeballs.
Okay, Bucky, let's see
how fast you can swim.
Come on, boy.
You can do it.
What's a little water?
What's that, Bucky?
The river's unsafe
and full of dangerous
surprises at every bend?
No. I didn't
get any of that.
Perhaps Glowbunnies don't swim.
That's too bad.
We'd get there so much faster.
Fear not,
my intrepid team smurf.
I didn't earn this raft-building
merit badge for nothing.
Boom! Nailed it.
Impressive, brainy.
Stylish and practical.
Now, let's launch this bad boy.
Wait. Remember,
this strange river
may hold untold surprises.
We must be cautious.
Cautious. Good point.
And heave...
The currents can
be unpredictable.
We must be alert and vigilant.
Vigilance? Good call.
Now, on three, two...
We must make sure we always...
Bark, bark, bing, bang!
Pay attention to the...
Bong, bong, bing, bang!
Rate of speed of the...
Berp, berp, bing,
dang, bong, bong!
Okay, and we are off.
Bye, Bucky.
Thanks for your help.
- Don't worry, we'll be fine.
- Bye, little Bucky bro.
Hasta la bunny.
See you on the way back!
Hey. What is this thing?
I wouldn't touch that
if I were you.
Oh. Now all I want
to do is touch it.
At this pace, Gargamel
doesn't stand a chance.
Look. If we follow this river,
we'll be right on course.
Right on course.
To the end of our rainbow.
Smurfs? I thought
I left you for dead.
Hang on, smurf crew.
Gun it!
What the...
Stop ruining things.
Ruining things is my thing.
Azrael, get me a bigger stick.
Oh, dear.
Clumsy, pull the lever!
Seriously? But you said not to.
Is this a trick?
Pull it now!
Oh, no.
Whoa, whoa...
Huh? What's this?
Aah! Azrael!
Do something.
It's never gonna stop.
Make the log stop spinning.
This river is killing me.
Whoa, whoa!
Look out!
I love you two.
Yes! We did it!
We did it!
See, I always believed we would do it.
Take that!
Help! Help!
All right.
We're still on course.
Double-time it, hefty.
Help! I'm sinking!
Please. I'm afraid of turtles!
Uh, guys, what's he up to now?
Forget that guy.
My cat can't swim.
We gotta help him.
Are you crazy? Why?
Because it's what I do.
Listen to him!
But he's our sworn enemy.
He is literally a villain.
I can change!
And I literally wear my
heart on my sleeve, okay?
That's your shoulder,
not a sleeve.
I like your tattoo!
We're doing this.
Smurfette, talk some
sense into him.
Brainy, I hate Gargamel more
than anyone, but we're smurfs.
We do the right thing.
Thank goodness for it!
And we have to save him.
I just want to go on record
that I'm decisively
against this.
Whatever. We're doing it.
Sounds awesome!
Use this.
Grab on!
I don't know about this.
You won't regret it.
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
Such a kind smurf.
Are you okay?
Oh, I'm okay.
Wet, a little tired,
kind of waterlogged.
Thanks for asking, but...
I'm still evil, so...
Enjoy drowning.
Hope you're better swimmers
than you are judges
of wizards' character.
Whoa! Whoa!
Brainy. Hefty?
You okay?
Define "okay."
Where's clumsy?
Clumsy! Clumsy!
I'm good.
Run away! Run away!
I think.
My pack! My manual!
No! No, no, no! No, no, no!
My scout manual!
This is all your fault!
Brainy, cut it out.
Oh, I'm sorry. Correction.
This is your fault, too.
Leave her out of this.
Hefty, I don't need you
to fight my fights for me.
Wait, now you're mad at me, too?
Smurfette, you're the one
that got us into this whole
mess in the first place.
Hey, I was ready
to do this on my own.
So much for team smurf.
I want to yell about something!
Stay out of this, clumsy.
That's it, brain man. It's time for
you to earn your manners badge.
Stop it!
Take cover!
Who are you?
What do you want?
What should we do with her?
Look at that hair.
Where's she from?
And that dress.
It's you.
You're a girl.
She's a girl.
This is her.
This is the smurf
I was telling you about.
The one from the wall?
She's real?
I'm Smurflily.
Hi. I'm Smurfette.
Oh, my geez-to-petes!
I'm Smurfblossom.
Nice to meet you. We
don't have a Smurfette.
But we do have
Smurfpetal, Smurfclover,
Smurfmeadow, Smurfdaisy,
Smurfholly, Smurfhazel...
Oh, everyone can just
introduce themselves later.
Look at you.
You're so different.
I mean, sorry, but it's true.
Do you know how to start a fire
with just rope and a stick?
I do. I can show you.
Actually, Smurfstorm
can show you.
She's the best at that kind of thing.
Right, stormy?
That means "yes."
Have you ever seen a rainbow?
What about a double rainbow?
What about an upside
down rainbow?
So, is your favorite song...
'Cause mine is.
Your dress is so pretty.
Smurfblossom, remember,
work on that filter, okay?
Filter, filter.
What's your deal anyway?
Oh, well, we came to
warn you about Gargamel.
He's a dangerous wizard who
wants to capture all smurfs
and use them for his evil magic.
And he knows about
your lost village.
"Lost village"?
You're the ones
who are lost, not us.
We have to take you
to Smurfy grove.
What do we do with
these blue blobs?
Oh, um...
Bring them along.
Come on, Smurfette. I'm
gonna show you my room.
You can tell me
all about Gargasmell.
But first, do you want to
hear my favorite song again?
All right, move.
Girl smurfs mean business.
You got that right.
Open the gate!
The girls are back!
Ew! Where did
they find them?
Is there something
wrong with them?
Are they sick?
Are they food?
No, no, no. They're
smurfs, just like us.
Except, well,
they're boy smurfs.
"Boy." That's a funny word.
Boy. Boy. Boy. Boy.
Look at me.
I'm a boy smurf.
I like 'em. Where
do they come from?
- What is that?
- Where is their hair?
- You can see their tails.
- Oh, look.
Hey, watch it!
Brainy's log, day two.
We've encountered
a rare new life-form.
Are there more like you?
They are at times
very intimidating.
Are you gonna stay here?
And they smell nice.
Hello, boy.
More on that later.
Oh, I want one!
Okay, that...
That's enough of that!
They're my friends. That's
hefty, brainy and clumsy.
Hey, there!
Hooptie, Berney, Klutzy.
Got it.
We should do name tags.
Wait, where are your boys?
You won't find any boys here.
I am Smurfwillow,
leader of the smurfs.
This is called an introduction.
So, now, you go.
Uh, I, um...
Don't get too close, Willow.
Something's not right here.
I promise we're
only here to help.
We came to warn you about
the evil wizard, Gargamel.
He has a map with a landmark
leading him to three tall trees.
Show 'em, brainy.
Don't try any funny stuff, bug.
I hate to break it to you,
but those aren't trees.
They're waterfalls.
Gargamel's going the wrong way.
And if he went there,
then that means the
swamp of no return.
There's no way he could survive.
Aah! Help me! Help me!
There's no way I'll survive!
With all due respect,
you don't know Gargamel.
Yeah, well, with no due
respect, you don't know us.
Trust us, he's a goner.
Stormy, why don't you do a little recon?
Check things out.
And leave you here
with these four?
No way.
Look at that one.
He can't be normal.
I think we'll be just fine here.
Okay. So, what does
this Gargamel look like?
Oh, you know,
he's your typical wizard.
Long black robe, lives alone
with his cat and his bird.
It's sad, really.
You're coming with me.
You can point him out.
Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's
no way he's getting on a...
I feel the need to remind
you, my name is clumsy.
Don't worry.
Clumsy's in good hands.
Oh, stormy is the
sweetest, in her own way.
All right, girls,
in the meantime,
our guests have
had a long journey,
so let's show them some
hospitality, Smurfy grove style.
Come on.
Hey, Smurfette, check this out.
Come on!
Flap, Monty.
Flap vigorously.
Use your mighty condor wings
to carry your master to safety.
Ouch! Oh! Ow!
Sweet mercy,
they're bottom feeders!
Devil fish!
Where is my lost smurf village?
What? Smurfs!
Why won't they just die?
Monty, retrieve them!
He exists, all right.
He and his stinky cat
and his dodo bird.
They've been terrorizing
us the entire journey.
He didn't like us
from the start.
He never could find our village.
So then he made
a plan to capture us all,
and that's when Gargamel
created Smurfette.
Hold up.
Smurfette was created
by this Gargamel?
Oh, yeah.
From a lump of Clay.
Really cool story, actually.
I knew I didn't trust her.
Oh, you'd like her
if you get to know her.
She's just like you, but nice.
Hold on.
We got a bogey coming in.
That's no bogey. That's
Gargamel's big dumb bird!
Here, you fly.
Uh, that's not a great idea.
Flying's not really my thing.
Have you ever flown before?
Well, no.
Well, then how do you
know it's not your thing?
He's coming back.
Uh... oh, what do I...
What do I do now?
Oh! Good move!
Whoa, whoa!
Now, do it again!
Hyah! Oh!
Yes. Wait a minute.
I don't recognize
that other smurf.
They found
my lost smurf village.
Hey, I've got an idea.
Spitfire, spit fire!
I like the way you think.
I guess I'm pretty good
with dragonflies after all.
What have they done to you,
my glorious bird of prey?
Shiatsu or Swedish?
Probably Swedish.
So, about all that stuff
I said back at the beach...
I guess I kind of overreacted.
Yeah. Me, too.
So, uh, we good?
- Yeah, we're good.
- Hey, guys.
Isn't this place awesome?
Doesn't she look great?
It's like she's one of us now.
She should stay with us forever.
Uh, one, she always looks great.
And two, this is getting a little
out of hand, don't you think?
I can't take you seriously
with that mask on your face.
Hey, Smurfette, we did
what we came here to do.
These smurfs
know about Gargamel.
So, come on, let's start
thinking about heading home.
But I... I...
It's time to go.
Turns out I do do well
with dragonflies.
They were right. This Gargamel
character, he's real,
and he's headed this way.
Oh, no. See? I told you...
Put a cork in it, Smurfette.
The way I see it, you and
your little boyfriends
led him straight to us.
But, of course, that was your
plan all along, wasn't it?
Smurfstorm, easy.
Little miss yellow hair
isn't even a real smurf.
She was created by Gargamel.
The clumsy blob
told me so himself.
Smurfette, is that true?
It's not like that.
She was made to
help him find smurfs.
Smurfette came here
to help you. We all did.
It's okay, hefty.
This is all my fault.
Girls, protection mode.
Come on, bro, let's help.
Isn't this exciting?
Surrender, wizard.
What? Wizard?
Oh, he's so old.
Is he wearing a disguise?
Look at his face.
This is impossible.
He doesn't seem so tough.
Yeah, Gargamel!
That's what you get when
you attack Smurfy grove.
What are you talking about?
No, no, no, wait.
This is a mistake.
That's papa.
There's another funny word.
Papa. Papa. Papa!
Smurfblossom, no.
Breathe deep and step away
from the papa-thing.
Everyone, meet papa smurf.
Hi. I'm Ssmurfjade.
Where are the boys?
'Sup, papa?
Hello there.
I rode a dragonfly!
Well, thank goodness
you're all okay.
How did you find us?
I wasn't
born yesterday, you know.
Yeah, that's clear.
Look, you four are coming
home with me. Now.
Not so fast,
"Papa-thing"? Are you
the one in charge here?
That's right.
I'm Smurfwillow,
leader of the smurfs.
I'm afraid that's
quite impossible,
because I happen to be
the leader of the smurfs.
Whatever you say,
Excuse me, do you
mind not calling me that?
Well, if the thing fits...
By the way, where'd
you learn those moves?
Self-taught, actually.
Thank you.
You're quite welcome.
Okay, not really sure
what's happening here,
but, uh, what about Gargamel?
What? What is all
this talk about Garga...
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did I scare you?
I hope so.
- Everybody run!
- Arm yourselves!
Prepare for Garmageddon!
This way!
Spears, now!
Gargamel says freeze!
That's right. Smurf-tested,
grade-a, first-class,
high-octane freeze balls.
Freeze ball! Freeze ball!
Freeze ball! Freeze ball!
Look out!
Well, I assume
they'll still work
if I don't shout "freeze ball,"
but we'll never know.
- Freeze ball!
- Smurfette!
It's over, Smurfette.
Monty, bag o' smurfs. Ah!
It's time for you to run.
Three more for pickup.
Ah, Smurfette.
My little creation.
You finally did
what you were made for.
No. It's not true.
Of course it is.
Why do you think
you led me here?
Why do you think you
saved me on the river?
It was all part of the plan.
No matter how hard you try,
you can't escape your destiny.
And now, you're really
of no use to me anymore.
Freeze ball!
Ah, yes, these freeze balls
only work on real smurfs.
And you are nothing more
than a lump of Clay.
Thank you for everything.
Smurfette? How could
you do this to us?
Because it was her purpose.
Smurfy thing finder
for four small smurfs.
I'm sorry, you guys.
No, snappy.
I've done too much
damage already.
We're team smurf,
and we're in this together.
- We're smurfs.
- We do the right thing.
I'm not even a real smurf.
I'm not a real smurf.
We need more power!
- Faster, Monty.
- Faster.
The jiggler's jiggling.
The spinny thing is spinning.
The smoke is going up.
The bubblers are bubbling.
Hubbuda, Hubbuda.
Oh, it's almost there.
Just keep running, old bird.
Here's what we're going to do.
I pick this lock.
We swing to that shelf.
Pick up something heavy.
And use it to kill the bird!
Yeah! What?
Yeah! Wait.
You want us to kill the bird?
Fine. We'll just
knock him unconscious.
All right, then.
Let's do this.
They have an escape plan,
but they're going
to need our help.
It's time to rock the cage.
Don't be weird.
Okay. Now!
Stop that, Azrael.
I can't calibrate my machine
with all your
incessant yammering.
Oh, yes, Azrael, listen to it.
It purrs like a kitten.
Oh, look at that.
Everything is in sync.
Yes, yes. Good.
Sweet mercy!
It's another jailbreak!
No, Gargamel. No.
Quiet down.
You'll all get your turn.
In you go!
Yes, that's the stuff.
Oh, I can feel it.
I can feel the power.
Check out my wizard mane.
Really, man?
When I'm through
with these smurfs,
I'll have all the power
I've ever dreamed of!
Almost all the power.
what a lovely surprise.
Are you done
crying in the woods?
I've shed enough tears
for those smurfs.
What's this?
I'm done pretending
to be something I'm not.
I've come to repledge my
loyalty to you, my true papa.
She can't be serious.
No, no, no, she would never.
Even if I did believe
you, which I don't,
what could you possibly offer me
that I don't already have?
A tiny little massage
that I can't even feel?
How about
the rest of the smurfs?
Yeah, right.
Wait, what?
Just think of all
the power you'll have
once I reveal the location
of smurf village.
Oh, let's see now.
One hundred more smurfs,
that's 10 times the power...
No. If you carry the one...
It's a lot more power.
Now, why are you doing this?
I'm so tired of being good.
Use your power to transform me
back to my evil self.
Your loyalty has
returned to you.
So, do we have a deal?
Smurfette, no!
Quiet, you vile blue rats.
I'm thinking.
Okay, I'm done.
Let's do it.
One evil Smurfette
coming right up!
Wait. Of course!
What? Oh,
what's happening?
No! No!
What are you doing?
Yeah! Go, Smurfette!
Azrael, help! More power!
What are we going to do?
Bingo. We Smurfboard.
Team smurf!
Payback time.
We're free!
I'm okay. Yeah!
I thought we were goners.
All right. Everybody.
Thank goodness.
All right!
I'm okay!
She did it!
She did it!
Where's Smurfette?
What happened?
This is what she once was.
No. No, no, no.
There's gotta be
something I can do.
There's gotta be a spell.
There's gotta be something.
I know there is.
Where is it? What page?
Must be here.
"Alchemy, vanishing,
"lead into gold."
No, that's not it.
Papa. Which spell? Which spell?
We won't find the answer
to this in a book.
Let's take her home.
She never thought
she was a real smurf.
But she was
the truest smurf of all.
Why is everyone crying?
It's Smurfette.
She's a lump of Clay.
No, clumsy, it's me.
I'm right here.
It's Smurfette.
It's Smurfette!
Quiet, clumsy.
Let him be, brainy.
We all grieve in our own way.
She's here!
Poor little bro.
I know how he feels.
Oh, hefty, not you, too.
You're all right!
Don't ever do that to me again.
I won't. I promise.
Yes, yes, yes!
You never cease to amaze me.
So, as for that
burning question...
What's a Smurfette?
Well, I don't need a book
to tell you she's...
Smurfette can't be defined
by just one word.
She's many things.
Oh, she doesn't know it yet,
but she's my new best friend.
Smurfette is a bunny wrangler.
She's tough.
Not as tough as me,
but tough enough.
Smurfette can be anything
she wants to be.
What's going on in there?
Say, "blue cheese!"
Blue cheese!
I was this close
to getting rid of the smurfs,
and you ruined everything.
I knew I should have gotten
a dog from the shelter.
I'm not saying this
to be cruel, okay?
I'm saying it to
be constructive.
You're a useless feline.
That's just mean. That's mean.
There was a line,
and you crossed it.
I was just jib-jabbing,
and you crossed that line,
and that stung.
I demand an apology.
You were going to learn this
one way or another,
but I am not your real father.
But that doesn't matter now.
What matters is
destroying the smurfs.
Any thoughts?
I mean, I have thoughts.
But I always like to spitball
off of your thoughts.
Azrael, I'm not
going to sugarcoat this.
Your ideas are terrible.
I can't think with this music.
Can someone please
shut off the music?
And what's with all these words
scrolling in front of me?
Did the smurfs do this
so that I would be distracted
and not be able to
destroy them as easily?
"Matte painters"? I don't
even know what that means.
Someone just
made that up, right?
I feel sorry for
whoever "matte" is.
"Look development artists"?
Oh, yes, of course,
let's develop some looks.
Like maybe a really angry look,
because you two
totally ruined my plans.
Am I going mad, Azrael?
For the last time,
get them to shut off this music!